This one existed a few ways before I finally got to where I am. First, whilst brushing my teeth, I thought of the phrase, "private island, private traps" as a way to reference both of their big ideas in the scene. Marion brings up the phrase private island - Sam had used it in the motel scene when fantasizing about his life with Marion (in the film, not my song) - and Norman abruptly brings up the idea of private traps.
After I came up with that phrase, it was pretty easy to write the rest of the chorus (as you can see in the photos below, I wrote it first). Marion would be talking about using her island as a safe space, and Norman would be talking about being forced to live inside his private trap. I was referencing two major points they make in the dialogue, but not quoting them directly (which was what I'd been worried about). Additionally, I got to sort of play with their internal monologues, which I think is the easiest way to write musical theatre - take what you think is happening on the inside and give characters a way to say it on the outside. I think I've said that before, but I think about it so often it feels important to reiterate. Still working on how to write dialogue in songs - so far, it just comes out feeling very forced and awkward (see below). I should probably start compiling a list of very specific dialogue songs.
Anyway. So I had a chorus, and from there it was pretty easy to figure out the accompaniment (it's not definitely permanent, but I like parts of it a lot). I had the verse/transitional piano going through my head as I tried to orient the chorus within the rest of the song; only later did I realize that the structure sounded a LOT like the Zombie Song structure (more on that later). The verse piano came out a lot simpler than I thought it would; I might change this, but I sort of like the minimalism. The chorus accompaniment was also pretty easy to compose, and also simpler than I'd expected, but I like it, too. Basically, although this song definitely has its flaws, I really like it.
At first, though, I wrote some terribly awkward verses. Very, very awkward ones, where I did try to write in new dialogue with each line (if you look closely at the photos, you can see what I crossed out). The melody was relatively similar, but not quite the same, as it is now, and the lyrics themselves felt very, very forced. Basically, when I practiced the song, I was stumbling and muttering my way through the verses so I could get to the chorus.
The bridge, meanwhile, wasn't so bad. Lyrically, I tried to focus on how islands and traps could be the same - both cut you off from the rest of the world, and they could each serve the other's purpose. "A trap can be safe if they leave you alone/ An island is sort of a trap on his own," etc. The harmonies were a little tricky to write/will probably get partially rewritten what with the chord progression I went with, but I like the progression too much to change it.
Anyway. A day after all of this, I decided to just rewrite the verses altogether, keeping the sentiments the same but not trying to force the lyrics to be a dialogue. Marion and Norman still take turns singing, but it's almost like they're singing to themselves - like maybe these thoughts are occurring while they're talking. Interspersed with the music are actual (or abridged) bits of dialogue pulled from the script. This was my compromise - write a monologue song, but preserve the dialogue I loved so much. The longest bit comes just after the bridge; here, I include a slightly shortened version of the "someplace" bit (you can read the whole thing by clicking on the audio track above - it'll link you to the bandcamp page with the lyrics).
So that's the song I have. A day or two ago I realized that both musically and structurally, it sounds a LOT like the Zombie Song. The minimalist, high-register piano under the verses is very similar to the Zombie Song verses, and the pattern I play out in the chorus is pretty similar to the Zombie Song chorus/bridge (I know, the patterns I play tend to always sound similar to each other, but this one does especially). I'm hoping that the songs are different enough in content/melody, however, that it won't really matter.
As for songs that may have influenced it - just after I wrote the chorus I realized how much I kept thinking about the Spring Awakening song "The Mirror Blue Night." Just sort of the verse piano and the general feel of my song felt very similar to that one, and after a while I think I started to base one on the other more consciously. A day or two later, after it was basically done, I realized how much it also felt like the Dogfight song "First Date/Last Night." Most obviously, both songs have titles with two phrases that each relate to one of the characters. Additionally, it's an example of a duet that likely takes place during a conversation (or where conversation should be - they're on a date), but mostly just features more internal monologue music.
I'm finding it really interesting how much Dogfight is influencing my music. I knew it would a little bit, and I like it a lot, but I listened to Heathers relentlessly (more than Dogfight) in the hopes of getting my music to sound more like that. Maybe it does a little bit, but I'm definitely hearing the Dogfight influences a LOT more. Maybe because that's a show with a more old-timey feel, and this show feels more old-timey than TIAMAZ did.
Anyway, here are the original lyric sheets for Private Island, Private Trap:
I wanted to start the next song today, but I don't think it's going to happen until tomorrow. It's mostly just a reprise of While You Can, though - peppered toward the end with Marion getting stabbed and Norman finding her and cleaning her up - so I'm not too worried about it. Also, I think today marks the official halfway point of this project. I got here and started January 6 (12 days ago), it's now January 18, and I have 12 days until Jan 30. So I'm at my halfway point, with three songs written - almost half of my ultimate goal. Basically, I'm feeling pretty good about things.
Right now, if I get 2-3 more done in the next two weeks, I will be happy. And I want to stick with this after January. Three songs in, it's definitely getting easier to write - to look at my plot outline, decide what I want the character to be thinking/saying, to work out some lyrics and a chord progression and a basic accompaniment, and so on. I don't know if it's 100% rejuvenated my songwriting abilities yet, but it took me six months to write four songs after TIAMAZ ended in June, and I've written three songs over the past 12 days. So.
I think that's it for the night. I'll try to get my next song done in the next two or three days, and write around the time that I'm done with that (unless something frustrating or important comes up). Bye for now.
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